You see ehn… I will never forget this story.
I was much younger, maybe like 10 or 11. There was this family we were very close to. Our parents were friends, we attended the same church, did family hangouts together. You know the type. They were what you’d call a “model family”; peaceful, prayerful, and proper.
But everything changed the year Uncle Dapo took a second wife.
Yes, you heard right. Second wife.
At first, the man was floating. Love was flowing like river. He was glowing like somebody that just returned from honeymoon. We were all confused but you know how grown-ups like to mind their own business? So nobody said much.
They said it was a “cultural” decision. That he could “afford it.” That his first wife was “supportive.”
Mmhmm. Supportive ke? Let me not talk too much.
Anyway, for the first year or so, it looked like things were fine. Two houses. Two women. One man balancing everything like a circus performer. Until one day, we visited again… and you could feel the tension before we even entered the compound.
The kids ah, the kids! That’s where the war started.
Each wife had her own children, and trust me, children can sense things adults pretend not to notice. Little, little fights turned to full-blown battles. “Why did she eat my biscuits?” “Why is he wearing my shoe?” “Why is your mummy always reporting my mummy?”
At first it was funny, typical sibling rivalry vibes. But it soon became nasty.
One day, one child poured hot water on another. I’m not joking o.
The wives began to drag each other in front of visitors. Imagine entering someone’s house and hearing:
“Tell your witch-mother to stay in her lane before I scatter this place!”
From there, the man started withdrawing. Peace left the house like the Holy Spirit in a noisy nightclub.
The same uncle that used to be the peacemaker became unreachable. He’d leave for work and not come back for two days.
The first wife? Depressed. The second wife? Angry and bitter.
The children? Broken.
Eventually, we stopped visiting. My mum said, “Let’s just be praying for them from afar.”
💭 The Moral?
See ehn… there’s a kind of chaos that enters a family when people think “more” means better.
More wives.
More children.
More things to manage without more wisdom.
They said polygamy was “working” for them. Until it didn’t.
Peace is expensive.
Unity is fragile.
And when the family system cracks, the children bleed the most.
📖 Scripture Plug:
“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” — James 1:8
Multiply that by two wives, and you’ll understand what instability really looks like. 😩
🧠 Reflection:
How many families are looking peaceful outside, but inside, they’re boiling pots of resentment and unspoken rivalry?
All in the name of tradition?
Or “options”?
Or even spiritual manipulation disguised as submission?
💬 Real Talk Question:
Have you seen families that look okay on the surface, but something deeper is tearing them apart?
Tell me below. Let’s unpack it together.
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