A STORY OF TWO WOUNDS

A STORY OF TWO WOUNDS

Imagine a little girl named Amara. Bright-eyed, curious, and bursting with dreams. Throughout her childhood, she convinced herself that every sting from the belt and the haunting phrase “I do this because I love you” were just signs of her parents’ love. Fast forward a few years, and when her husband’s hand raised in anger, her heart quietly reassured her, “This is love. It’s normal.”

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:4

•Childhood beatings impart a different kind of discipline than what God intends. They instill fear.

•Adult abuse can feel strangely familiar, a distorted echo of that childhood “love.”

•The cycle continues: a girl who was beaten grows into a woman who sees bruises as proof of devotion.

The Hidden Cost of “Love” That Hurts

When we resort to physical discipline:

•We hinder her emotional development.

•She learns to conceal her pain, doubts, and questions, fearing punishment more than seeking understanding.

•We distort her perception of love.

•Every raised voice or hand becomes her benchmark for “care.”

•We condition her to accept abuse as normal.

•As a wife, she endures harsh words and even harsher hands, convinced that’s just “how love works.”

Why We Must Break the Chain

1.She is created in God’s image.

•To harm her is to harm a cherished child of God (Genesis 1:27).

2.True love communicates differently.

•Tenderness, active listening, and guidance, not bruises, foster trust and self-worth.

3.She will pass on what she learns to her children.

•The cycle either ends with you or it continues for generations.

How about we consider a

More effective way? 👇

A New Measure of Discipline

Instead of using a rod, consider:

•Active listening.

•Ask her: “What hurts you? What scares you?”

•Emotion coaching.

•Name her feelings. “I see you’re frustrated” and help her navigate through them.

•Natural consequences.

•If she breaks a rule, allow her to rebuild

Let’s talk about affirmation overload.

• Catch her doing something right and shower her with praise for her kindness, creativity, and courage.

Cultural & Scriptural Anchors

• Proverbs 22:6 reminds us: “Train up a child in the way she should go; even when she is old she will not depart from it,” but remember, it’s all about training with love, not fear.

• 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to honor their wives, treating them as “heirs with you of the grace of life”—never to cause harm (1 Peter 3:7).

• In many cultures, physical punishment is seen as a tradition, but true heritage should be rooted in respect, kindness, and dignity.

LETS DO THIS👇

1. Reflect: What childhood wounds are you carrying?

2. Repent & Repair: If you’ve hurt your child, own up to it, apologize, and ask how you can rebuild that trust.

3. Learn: Consider investing in parenting courses that focus on emotional intelligence.

4. Connect: Seek out a community (whether online or local) of parents who are dedicated to non-violent discipline.

5. Stand GIDIGBAM: grow in discipline, integrity, dignity, generosity, bravery, accountability, and mindfulness in this generation.

Don’t let fear define her legacy. Instead, let love, respect, and purpose be the gifts you pass down.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” —Luke 6:31

Today, make the choice to break the cycle. Raise children who are neither victims nor predators, but strong individuals rooted in love, peace, and the freedom to pursue their true purpose. Join us at Family Nest Academy and start your transformation because every child deserves a discipline that builds them up, not tears them down.