UNDERSTANDING FAMILY BLIND SPOTS

I remember sitting across from a friend one day. She was sobbing.
Not because her family hated her…
But because her family never truly saw her.

They prayed. Ate meals together. Had traditions.
But… she felt unseen. Unheard. Misunderstood.

When I asked her why she never brought it up before, she said:

“They love me. But they’ve never known how to ask deeper questions. We just… avoid things.”

What Are Family Blind Spots?

They’re not the obvious messes.
They’re the subtle patterns. The habits. The emotional silences.
The spiritual perfectionism. The angry tone that became “normal.”
The lack of affection that’s chalked up as “just how we are.”
Blind spots are those unseen leaks that eventually sink ships.

Signs Your Family Has Blind Spots:
• Your children feel they have to hide parts of themselves to be accepted
• Apologies rarely happen, even when wrong is clear
• Conversations avoid emotions or “hard topics”
• There’s a repeated cycle of conflict without resolution
• Outsiders see tension, but insiders defend it as culture

Why They’re Dangerous:

Because they shape how your children love, trust, and define normal.
A blind spot is not just what you missed, it’s what you’re unintentionally modeling.

The Call to Courage:

If you’re a parent or caregiver, this is not about shame.
It’s about awareness.

You can love your children deeply and still unknowingly wound them.
That’s not failure. That’s humanity.
But refusing to grow? That’s how blind spots become bondage.

How to Start Seeing:
1. Create listening spaces.
Ask your children and spouse: “Is there something you’ve always wanted to say but didn’t feel safe?”
2. Be humble enough to unlearn.
What worked for your parents may not be working in your home.
3. Use your prayers as mirrors.
Don’t just ask God to change your child. Ask Him to expose you.

Final Word:

Sometimes the hardest thing to see is what we’ve always called normal.
But Jesus is not just the Light of the world, He is the Light that enters our homes.

Let Him show us what needs healing, adjusting, or removing.
Let’s raise families that don’t just survive pain, but confront it and heal from it.