By Princess Francisca Obi-Chimezie | Family Nest Academy
Some of us were raised by people who never healed.
People who called it discipline when it was pain talking.
People who couldn’t say “I love you” because nobody ever said it to them.
Now we’re parents.
And while we love our children deeply, we sometimes find ourselves reacting, not responding.
Yelling before listening. Controlling instead of connecting.
Avoiding conversations because they feel too close to our own unhealed wounds.
That’s what trauma does.
It leaks.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma isn’t just about what happened.
It’s also about what didn’t happen.
The hug you never got.
The apology that never came.
The safe space you were denied.
When those wounds go unacknowledged, they fester.
And they find their way into our parenting through anger, fear, silence, or perfectionism.
4 Ways Trauma Shows Up in Parenting
1. Overreaction to Minor Issues
Your child spills juice and you explode.
It’s not really about the juice. It’s about the chaos you couldn’t control growing up.
2. Withholding Affection
You struggle to say “I love you.”
Not because you don’t feel it, but because you were taught love had to be earned.
3. Fear-Based Discipline
You threaten rather than teach.
You’re parenting out of fear of failure, not faith in your child’s growth.
4. Emotional Absence
You’re there physically but not emotionally.
You avoid hard conversations because they bring up your own pain.
Your Healing Is Your Child’s Freedom
You can break the cycle.
But not by pretending. Not by performing.
By pausing. By acknowledging what still hurts.
You don’t have to parent from pain.
You can parent from purpose.
Start therapy.
Start journaling.
Start being honest about how your past is shaping your present.
You are not weak for seeking help. You are wise.
A Note From My Heart
Dear Parent,
Your trauma is not your fault.
But your healing is your responsibility.
And every brave step you take creates new pathways for your children to thrive.
Let your family be the first to walk in wholeness.
Let your legacy be healing.
📥 Download our Legacy Letter Devotional for reflective healing
https://selar.com/120m3g
🎥 Watch the full YouTube teaching below
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